A few days ago the Lord spoke to my heart about one of my relationships, showing me that my affection for that person was mostly affection of the mind. I knew they were a great person to have in my life, knew I could trust them and knew their walk with the Lord was genuine. I was also pretty convinced I was supposed to be in relationship with them. Thus, I cared for them. The Lord showed me that the affection I acknowledged toward them had not really reached my heart. I felt an assurance that it would be okay to let my heart feel what my mind had already figured out. Though it would come with a deeper vulnerability and great risk, it was going to be good.
Isn’t this also how we treat ministry? We feed the homeless because God said to. We send money to World Vision because we know God would like that. We pick up trash because we’re supposed to serve. We volunteer at church because we should. We care for the heart of the Lord in a head knowledge kind of way, but we may never truly get our heart wrapped up in His. And being in a relationship without heart involvement is a dangerous place to be.
I help to serve meals at a soup kitchen in Cairo twice a week. When I’m having a hard day, I often don’t even make eye contact with the people who come in. What’s the point? They’re chronically poor, close to homeless and often times addicts. My eye contact, my genuine investment in them as people isn’t going to make a lick of difference. But on days when I’m obedient to the Lord, on days His heart is my main concern, I feel a great deal of love for these people. The Lord gives me opportunities to lay hands on individuals and pray with them, to listen to their stories, to see individuals as individuals who need the Gospel of Jesus Christ. When my heart cares about the Father’s heart, it also cares for His babies who are dying for Truth.
This week I sat down with one of these people, a pseudo father to a student I work with, and listened to his stories for nearly an hour. More than once my eyes threatened to flood with tears as I heard of remarkable provision from Jesus throughout this man’s life. I asked him if he had a relationship with Jesus and he told me he used to, but had seemingly been shunned by his church because of lies that had been spoken about him. He equated a relationship with Jesus to church involvement. As a person involved in the church as a whole, I apologized to him for the way he was treated. Christians make lots of mistakes and they need to be forgiven. I told him I really didn’t care if he was going to church (yes, fellowship is important and the Lord loves The Church, but attending church does not = salvation!), I cared if he knew Jesus as His Savior, if he had a relationship with Him. I cared about his eternal salvation. The man seemed caught off guard by my response, no doubt under the influence of a religious spirit. He shared with me how he talks to the Lord daily with his son and is often in the Word. He was forthright with details of his life and allowed me to pray with him.
Was I looking for the supernatural that day? Sadly, no. I was caught in a strain of mediocrity due to allergies, daily patterns and an inward focus. However, the Lord allowed my heart to light up for one of His Beloved’s and I was deeply impacted. This person was more than worthy of my love and the Lord used him to humble me, to teach me again how to stop for the one, how to care for the one, how to love the one with not only my mind, but also my heart.
As My Life is Transformed by the King 