Fearless Healing

I am 100% certain that Father God loves to bring healing to His children. He’s shown us by raising His Son’s dead body from the grave and if that isn’t proof enough, check the life of anyone that has been saved by grace. Believers are inevitably healed from wounds of their past, from physical ailments, from anger, bitterness, unforgiveness and from other things that are not their Heavenly portion. No, Christians aren’t perfect, but if they are walking with God you had better believe they carry joy and an intimate understanding of God’s deep love of healing His children.

God’s dialoging with me about my own inner healing at the moment. Lot’s of stuff He leads me to receive healing from is scary to process through at first. Receiving healing and revelation often times requires me to admit the lies the enemy has told me as I offer them to God.  I’ve usually chosen to block many of the lies from my mind for fear of them being true. I feel shameful, trapped and drowning when fearing that lies are actually Truth. But here’s the best part: they never are. Those lies that cause me to see myself as anyone other than a shell Jesus lives in are a load of crap and totally not true! The Amplified version of John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love’s complete perfection].” Perfect love casts out fear. Where God’s love exists in fullness fear does not, for it can’t. When we understand who we are in Christ, there is nothing to be afraid of.

One day recently I asked the Lord how to survive being bombarded with lies while I am alone. My roommate recently moved out, which means more of my time at home is spent without another person around to insure my sanity and value, and in this “alone time” I tend to listen to more lies. The Lord told me to worship. So, when I’m feeling sad, believing lies or struggling in any way I begin to worship. No, it’s not always easy to get into the mode of worship when I feel worthless, unworthy, dirty, etc., but none of those things are true about me and my identity has nothing to do with my feelings; if the enemy can keep me feeling like I deserve to be separated from God, I will believe I truly am. But, believing I’m separated from God will not make me separated in any way. All the enemy can do is lie, not actually create separation in any way. What a blessing praising Jesus has been!  As I worship Him I’m reminded of who I truly am-righteous, pure, holy and pleasing in His sight. I’m given revelation that nothing can separate me from His love. I become engulfed in understanding of how precious I am to Him and how wonderful He is. My focus shifts from me to God and I praise Him like that’s what I was created to do…because it is. God is healing me from old wounds and scars as I worship Him. What a beautiful, effortless romance this is.

Alone Time

My beloved roommate, Heather, began attending Graduate school last fall. This bold move was a wonderful one for her and I’m glad the Lord’s taking her on that adventure. Recently, though, she’s decided to move to Carbondale to be closer to campus, her job and everything that comes with being a graduate student. I understand why the Lord would have her be there and know she will be a blessing, a big blessing, to Carbondale. I will miss her fiercely, though, and am quite sure I’d rather live with her than without her.

As I began to dialogue with the Lord a couple months ago about what this move would mean, more specifically, what it would be like to live alone, I began to fear time spent with no one else is this big, old house. I tend to listen to a lot of lies when I’m alone. Heather’s been spending a few nights a week in Carbondale all year, so it’s been easy to know how I might feel when living alone, as I’ve been doing it on and off for eight months. Verdict? I don’t like it. I’ve never been much of a loner, usually preferring time spent in the company of a few close friends. Thus, this dialogue with the Lord about me spending lots of alone time in the future has been a hard one to have, one I often avoid actually talking to Him about, as fear and the grief associated with saying goodbye to my roommate season with Heather has led most of my conclusions.

I’m reading a book called The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. This week I’ve been reading Chapter 5 and today the Lord did some pretty intense heart surgery on me in regards to fear, lies and lack of confidence in my identity. As a result I wrote my weekly Cairo news article on this process I’m in, which I will copy and paste below. I highly recommend reading The Pursuit of God and I also highly recommend casting your fears on the Lord, for He cares for you. Do not be afraid of alone time, instead recognize time with God as a necessity and flourish in the presence of the Lord.

Dearest Cairo,

            I will be the first to admit I dislike spending time alone. I much prefer the company of people to the quietness of solitude! I don’t like how easy it is to believe lies about myself from the enemy when I’m alone. I don’t like the lack of motivation I have when I’m alone. Plainly put, alone time isn’t a lot of fun. Today the Lord has been showing me that, as a believer in Him, I am never, never, never, never alone and never without His strength. He is always with me, He encompasses and surrounds me, He exists everywhere I am and is never distanced from me. It is those moments when I find myself only with Him that may just be the very best for me. Time spent alone is also time spent with the Lord; how we view this time, how we respond to this time, dictates the fruit in our lives a great deal. In time spent without others around the Lord delights in revealing our identity to us! He loves working through things we’d rather not think about, freeing us from lies we might have been believing for a very long time. He loves to be made a priority and to spend quality time with us. There is nothing lonely, nothing lethargic, nothing scary about God. Feeling lonely or helpless in times when we are alone with God is a trick of the enemy, a lie about our own strength and, most importantly, God’s identity. Be encouraged, Beloved, the Lord loves to spend alone time with you! Make this time a priority, carve it into your schedule before other plans and you won’t be disappointed! As it turns out, this “alone time” is vital to our relationship with God. It is a priority and a necessity!